Would you treat me so well if you knew this fact?

As you gather up my belongings I feel guilty.  It’s not because I’m not helping you, but because I’ve realized that you are my second thought.  Would you treat me so well if I told you this fact?  The fact that, when they admitted me into the hospital, my finger hovered over the phone number of another, pulling back and then repeating this action several times before finally convincing myself that the person who belonged to that number would not want nor desire to come to my aide.  I knew you would, there was no doubt.  You would do anything for me.  You are the one person in my life that, if I would let you, would scoop me up and wash away my worries, heal my pain, and place my dreams in front of me with a blown kiss in the wind to make them come true.  Still, you are my second thought.  Would you treat me so well if you knew this fact?  My first thought will never scoop me up and wash away my worries, heal my pain, and place my dreams in front of me with a kiss in the wind to make them come true.  That doesn’t make him my second thought, as you are.  When the nurse told me to rest and you climbed in the bed next to me, wrapped your arms around me, you again were my second thought.  Would you treat me so well if you knew this fact?  My first thought may never climb in bed next to me, wrap his arms around me allowing me to feel his strength, warm my body and feed me that strength to heal.  That didn’t make him my second thought, as you are.

When I was awoken the next morning to nurses and doctors poking and prodding me you were still there, giving me a light kiss on the forehead as if you were wishing me well, and again you were my second thought.  Would you treat me so well if you knew this fact?  My first thought would not have been there when I opened my eyes, nor give me a light kiss on the forehead as if he were wishing me well.  That didn’t make him my second thought, as you are.

You try to convince me to follow the doctors request to stay home from work and rest, that you would take care of me.  Yet, again you were my second thought.  Would you treat me so well if you knew this fact?  My first thought would not try to convince me to follow the doctors request to stay home from work and rest, that he would take care of me.  This didn’t make him my second thought, as you are.

As you gather my belongings, I feel guilty.  Do you see my guilt written in my eyes?  Do you see the longing for my first thought?  Do you see the hurt I carry because it’s you here with me now, and not him?  Would you treat me so well if you knew this fact… That you are my second thought.

Picture by: http://www.flickr.com/photos/riggott/14136982/    License: http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/deed.en

Advertisements

I would love to hear your thoughts! Comments are encouraged!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s