Delusional, that’s me in a nut shell. I decided to take an offer last night for drinks and good conversation. Now this is where my ‘good sense’ should have kicked in. What man would actually say that and mean it, none that I attract obviously. I took the offer because I realized I was no longer the women with the frozen heart, I had become weak and let my mind listen to my beating heart and I was actually trying to make sense of it. Why because I had looked over one day and seen ‘the man’ and it changed my view of relationships forever. I found myself wanting to put my heart on the line. These feelings are all to scary for me and I know they will ultimately hurt me at some point.
I freshened up after a day of running around with my best friend and set off to work on suppressing these feelings. I was going to go back to my cynical ways. Well who would have thought it would be so easy to go back to distrusting men and realizing they are all overbearing, forceful assholes. They think they can push women around and believe their all ‘loose’ and have low IQ’s.
‘Loose’ I’m not but obviously after last night a shove can make one realize I have a low IQ for believing a man would want to have ‘ good conversation’. Delusional I am no longer.
As I fight through this pain I have found myself chuckling when I remember that my best friend made a comment that same night. She said I may be a little niave. If I wasn’t so embarrassed that this happened to me, I would call her and let her know she ‘pinned the tail on the donkey’.