I Don’t Love You

Dear HTC One Android Cellphone,

We have been together for two weeks now and I thought we were going to be something special. You convinced me with your big screen that you were what I needed to fulfill my needs. Why do you insist on fighting our relationship? Why do you purposely push me away?

I’ve done everything with you the past two weeks yet you get jealous when I take a moment to speak to someone always throwing in a button key press noise periodically through my conversations.

I knew you were ill when you wouldn’t let me link my contacts to Facebook so I got my friend to fix you up and make you well again.

I’ve overlooked the fact that you lie and tell me your roaming by beeping at me every two seconds when I’m not holding you.

I forgave you for needing to be upgraded for days on end, sending me duplicate text message notifications and your poor translations of my voicemails but today was completely uncalled for! Why did you see fit to wipe yourself clean after I finally completed entering all my contacts? Why would you do such a vicious act?

You need to say something because I’m giving up on you. I would let you follow me anywhere. I thought you were the ‘one’ but obviously I am mistaken. I realize this is not my fault, it is you and your insecurities that you don’t deserve happiness, happiness that I could have shown you.

I don’t love you anymore.

– Casey


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