The lack of trust and love in our lives makes us sad. Love produces positive emotions, if you choose to run from it, some say it can shorten your life. The sadness can cause you to become a lonely person and put you in a vicious circle of disconnection.
Some come to a point were they connect with someone and they begin to seek out to express their feelings but expressing your feelings is like trying to write with an orange, it’s the wrong tool. Healing your loneliness can only happen when you accept a relationship. The relationship you find can help you understand your previous failed attempts to connect with someone and move you forward in the right direction.
I took a test that supposedly shows you how lonely you are. My results were surprising to me as it stated I feel more lonely than most people. I actually didn’t believe I was lonely and still don’t, maybe I am in denial.
The process of falling in love requires you to be extremely vulnerable to someone. Romance often brings heartbreak and disappointment, unfortunately we have to go through this stage to find love.
At times I have found myself in a position that I am sharing my feelings, and giving the person my all. The thoughts of a ‘relationship’ come to the surface and overcome me. At this point I take my exit, stage left. I will slowly cut the person out of my life to keep them as far away from me as possible. I will even convince myself that they are ‘mean’, uncaring, I will pick and read to much into everything they do and say. All these things confirm in my head on why I can’t hangout with them, care about them or be with them.
So the test had it backwards. I am not a ‘lonely’ person, I’m a person who is alone. Two diffident things in my mind.