I went to the doctors today to prepare for the biopsy. I still haven’t got the courage up to set my official appointment. I have been doing things on my own for all these years, I’m just not sure why i can’t seem to get a hold of this situation and take control. I find it hard to walk around carrying this curve ball all by myself. I should be on top of this as we just went through the motions of a funeral for my son’s friends mother. It made me realize that life can be so short. I find myself wanting to tell people my deep down feelings about things but still I choke them back.