Headaches and Heartaches

It’s time for someone to step up and tell it how it is. How many times have you reached out to your family, friends or even co-workers asking for advice on parenting? How many times have you spent hours searching the internet for parenting advice? Overall How many times has this advice helped you find a solution to a parenting problem, I’m sure as someone who has reached out and searched the internet the answer is more times than not it was a waste of time. When asking others you receive only what they want you to hear, never getting that raw unedited advice. Mostly after speaking to others you may feel embarrassed and regret for stating out loud your problems. Don’t feel alone because I personally have felt this way and other parents have to, they just don’t go around expressing it to others. All parents go through situations that are never and can never be the exact thing you are going through. Of course to a point they will understand your feelings and frustrations but they will never know exactly how you feel deep inside. As parents we should be boycotting the self-help books sold at our local bookstores, those books written by some doctor somewhere that chances are, don’t have children. We need to encourage real parents to write their stories, their struggles and heartaches of parenting their children so others can seek not the exact fixes to their parenting struggles but look for similar situations and how other parents handled them. At least these books would be real accounts of real situations and the parent who felt the need to pick the book up would feel less alone when they closed the book. Parenting can be a wonderful experience and at the same turn be a bloody nightmare. Yes, I said it a bloody nightmare, a soul crushing experience, an experience that can fill a parent with the deepest of depression. It’s the truth and parents need to admit it out loud, it’s not a walk in the park by any stretch of the imagination.

What is my story? I am a single mother currently of a 13 year old boy. I have been a single mother since approximately 2 months after his birth. If you ask my mother, I have always been a single mother as I was never married. I have managed to raise my son and still have a career and own my home. I question daily if I am doing it right and place much blame on myself when I get into an argument with my son. He too believes that I am the problem. I have been embarrassed, I have been hurt and I have had good times but unfortunately in my parenting experience lately the bad times come more often.

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2 thoughts on “Headaches and Heartaches

  1. I love your honesty. I’ve actually been able to find a few books wriitten by parents. They were by far the most helpful. I agree with you. No situation is exactly the same but it helps to hear that we are not alone and learn from others.

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    1. Thank you. Feeling that your not alone is what it all comes down to, not so much finding the ‘golden’ answer to the situation. Looking for something that is helpful and can move the situation or problem forward to a solution. Sometimes I think self help books are as bad for humans as technology. Most have there heads down socializing on their social media sites and don’t put it down, look up and socialize in person. Most have their heads down in a self help book (because there sold as the ‘answers’ to our problems) and they don’t put it down and ask for answers in other people around them. We need to put our embarrassment aside and talk to others about our situations and we need to write about them so that those people who haven’t mustard up the courage to speak aloud (that was me 5 years ago) can see others have had similar situations.

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