This weekend wasn’t what I expected at all. What did I think it would be well maybe more interaction with close friends. Making a connection that I have been secretly looking to make, I’m not sure. Was this 4th of July enjoyable, yes it was. I started my 4th doing unconventional things. I went down to visit a good friend at her lake house where we didn’t grill out like 90% of Americans we went out to dinner. After dinner we spent the evening chopping produce to create the side dishes for her barbecue that she was hosting the following day. The following two days were spent relaxing at my lake house. This was bitter sweet as these two days were where I thought I would share good times and a few laughs with friends and family.
A few family members made an appearance and my toe had a run in with a dog. I haven’t cried that much since I was giving birth to my son! Then there was Jeff, who strolled in wearing his Michigan football attire as he always does. Sometimes I wonder if he owns any other clothes. I’ve known Jeff for about 4 years now, he is one of my ‘go to’ guys. Not just for sexual pleasure but for those moments I find myself in need of someone to attend an event with or just to have someone around. Now this weekend it was purely to have an adult around and had nothing to do with anything sexual. As we watched the spectacular fireworks show over the water I could tell he felt that this was going to be more of a sexual visit. Boy was he wrong and when I realized this I was close to being drunk and was kicking myself in the ass for telling him I was going to be at the lake for the 4th. I had that dreaded moment when you look over and realize that the person next to you isn’t the person you want sitting next to you. I also had that nauseating feeling when my mind told me who I wanted sitting there, beside me, experiencing the amazing fireworks with. I didn’t have the guts at that time to turn to my right and let those words pass my lips but I estimated a few more beers, it could be possible to let it slip.
Once my mind made me admit he wasn’t the one I wanted to be with I retreated to my patio, lit a fire and tiki touches, then sunk myself in a comfy chair with my iPad. I would write myself a 4th of July story that ended how I wanted it to. Of course Jeff followed my retreat back to the patio shortly after I had got comfy and involved in writing my story. He stood in front of me, put his hand over the screen of my iPad and asked if that was more interesting then he was. Well shit, not the right question to be asking me and even more so not the right time as I was severely intoxicated. I swatted his hand away, looked at him and said “this is part of my living. This writing pays for all of this your enjoying, so no, it’s not more interesting it is more important.” I went on to explain that I spent the past eight hours swimming, cooking and entertaining him. I think I can sit on my patio at midnight drinking myself silly and writing on my iPad for a little while. This is why I get bored of men, I shouldn’t have to entertain you every second we are together. They should be able to sit next to me or even across from me, relaxing and finding something to keep theirselves busy. I will still talk to them. I can talk, drink and write with no issues. Jeff sat beside me and you could feel the hissy attitude radiating off of him. I turned my head and told him that I wanted to punch his lip. He laughed and told me I was funny, I responded with I’m serious. This started an argument, well a one sided argument because I don’t argue. I make statements and if you don’t like it we can discuss it but I’m not going to start yelling, there is no point for this it really doesn’t solve anything.
He didn’t appreciate it when I told him to get his purple panties out of his butt and relax.