It’s a cool quiet morning at the lake house. A small layer of dew covers the deck and chairs. The sun is just peaking over the lake house to say good morning. Slowly the neighborhood awakes for another adventurous day at the lake. I sit here stretched out on my lounge chair reflecting on my life, which has been a daily occuracne lately.
I’m surrounded by families with their children. They all project happiness and joy to be here and with each other. You have to be a tad curious if that is truly their life or if the happiness is just a small moment within their larger life. A couple holds hands gently while sipping on their morning coffee looking out at the lake.
Another couple cozily sits on their deck enjoying their breakfast and orange juice. As they eat they take brief moments to let their eyes meet as though it is a silent communication telling each other they ‘I love you’.
There is a couple walking down the dirt gravel path enjoying a conversation with each other while their little dog tries to wrap its leash around their legs. The couple stops every once and a while sharing a laugh while unwrapping themselves.
A group of couples congregate around a picnic table sharing stories of their antics the previous night. Some needing a quick refresher on what they got themselves into which they seem to have forgotten or want others to think they had.
At times I find myself thinking that I’m missing out. All these years of being single I’ve missed out on having that special connection with someone. A person to share a moment over morning coffee, a quiet walk with the dogs or to share a sweet look across the breakfast table. Then slowly the reality that surrounds me in my daily life reminds me that these moments seem to rarely exists. As my examples of married life show me more heartache and suffering. The disagreements, the resentments and the rage. I’m not naive I know that relationships are tough and a lot of work, I just wouldn’t want to take the step and find myself in those situations others have found themselves in. Though if I could find a handholding, love gazing, non-confrontational relationship I would try to hold onto it so tight my hands would crack and bleed.