Saying it out loud is the hardest thing. You would think that telling my situation would be a freeing situation but instead it brought me anxiety and tears. Why, I’m not really sure. Maybe because I feel as though I’m being judged and there is always the factor of having someone feel sorry for me and I hate the thought of that. I find it so easy to feel sorry and help others but when it comes to others helping me, that’s just unacceptable to me. I wonder at times why I have such a hard time accepting help.
Sometimes I hate the fact that I have more of a man mentality than a women. It at times holds me back from having a normal relationship.