“As a relationship goes on it’s only natural to stop and think about something more long-term.”
When my friend sent me those words “As a relationship goes on it’s only natural to stop and think about something more long-term”, I immediately set my phone down and asked myself “what is wrong with me?”
My mind doesn’t let me think of something more long-term. Maybe this is because my past hurt has caused me to build an impenetrable room where I send my feelings, saving me from being hurt in the future. This fear of having my feelings hurt has come to shape my present and continues to shape my future.
I think at times I haven’t figured out my worth yet. I haven’t seen anything within myself that would be worth giving to someone else. My mind accepts the fact that no one else has entertained the idea of something more long-term with me as a confirmation of my lack of worth to another.
When I think of my friends and where they are today I feel as though my life has remained stagnant. A life which is held captive by the thoughts which hinder my happiness.