As a young girl I was fed an idea. The idea of what my life should be, Education, Marriage, and Children. These concepts implanted and etched into my brain. As I grew up, I clawed my way up any obstacle that got in my way to completing these tasks.
I did everything I could but what did this bring me?
Abusive boyfriend, child out of wedlock, penny-less and a large side of disapproval looks as though I had broken some sacred code of womanhood.
Slowly I learned that these qualities that people had drilled into me did not have to be the characteristics that defined me as a woman. During this time I would start to take control of my destiny and crush the stereo types that were thrown at me during my journey.
I accomplished many things on my journey and was unstoppable. The one thing I treasured the most from this experience was the freedom to do what I wanted to do, when I wanted to do it. I was able to just be me. I was able to set my own goals and reach them in my own time. Self discovery is a processes full of many warm memorable moments but at the same token it can be a dark road full of insecurities, desperation, depression, self hate and an overwhelming want to be nothing more than to be loved and accepted.
Now after more than a decade I reflect back on my journey and am proud of what I have accomplished and by the same token I can see how the situations in my earlier days led me to the independent person I am today and how it has caused me to miss many opportunities for companionship. I see clearly how I deflected many hands that once reached out holding love for me.