Marriage Fosters Anger and Disdain

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When a person is not in a committed relationship everything that needs to be completed is their responsibility. On the other hand, when two people are in a committed relationship or married the responsibilities that life brings are shared, well that is what the past has taught us it is. With that frame of mind, ‘shared responsibilities’, breads disdain and hatred into the relationship, that can last a lifetime.

When one partner feels the other should be completing a task they are responsible for and they are not, this causes the person to start going through stages of emotions.

  1. Annoyed Stage. The person who feels their partner should be completing a task or has asked their partner to complete a task and they have not done it. This stage lasts a few weeks. The person recognizes that their partner may have been busy, they make up excuses for them to justify why it hasn’t been done and they hold hope they will complete it soon.
  2. Anger Stage. This is the stage where they start comparing what they have completed and what their partner has completed. The person asking for the task to be completed starts confronting their partner about not completing the task and asking again for it to be completed. In this stage the person will throw out how they have completed their responsibilities as a way of saying, ‘If I can find time to complete things, you can too.’
  3. Infuriated Stage. This stage is where the person asking for the task to be completed turns into a massive, destructive tornado that grows throughout this stage. This stage begins with the ‘I’ll just do it myself’ statement. The person sets out to complete the task they have been asking their partner to do and this is where the tornado of anger starts to build. They are not happy about completing the task so they use the fact they are completing it as ‘word ammo’ for the upcoming arguments they are preparing in their mind. Depending on the task needed to be completed, this stage could be a long one. All through the process the person lives each day adding anger to the tornado growing it bigger and bigger. They can’t relax and enjoy the moment they are in as the angry thoughts take control of their mind. This stage is filled with arguments between both partners.

And that right there is why being single is a beautiful and precious thing. Single people complete tasks that need to be done, feel good about completing them and move on. No arguments, no angry feelings, no distain, just peaceful happy thoughts.

What do you think, Is being single a better option than dealing with situations that come with marriage? Sound off in the comments below.

 

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2 thoughts on “Marriage Fosters Anger and Disdain

  1. Having spent the majority of my 20’s single, my 30’s married, divorced (single again), and now remarried, I definitely prefer being married. Being single and owning responsibility for everything is nice, up to a certain point. It also creates an additional weight, a burden that only you carry alone… where in some cases nothing will get done until you do it yourself. Finding the right partner is different. Yes, you might reach the annoyed stage. However if the relationship is strong, both partners won’t let an issue reach the anger stage. Most spouses don’t wake up thinking, “How can I infuriate my partner today?”

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  2. I think there is some of both. I suspect it is the partners we choose and how we individually enter into the relationship, how we work within the relationship. Where we choose to stop the cycle.

    My Mantra?

    You do not have to love what I love, you must love me enough to participate.

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