Barracuda

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Do you find the fact that I am a full time working professional, homeowner and a responsible parent a little too much to swallow? Am I overwhelming? If the little bit of information you’ve gotten about me thus far causes you to feel that way then you should hold on tight because those three things don’t even touch on the person I am. These days I find people meeting each other in person and starting a meaningful relationship just doesn’t happen often. Most grab their device and turn toward the digital world where it’s easy to flip through hundreds of pictures in search of a superficial relationship all while using the bathroom. This type of wooing and romance is only allowing people the opportunity to hide behind what can be typed into a profile, or that perfect picture that took them 100 tries to get, all which serves to draw someone to you. Let’s not forget the power of that unleashes when meeting people the old fashioned way, when you look into their eyes and just connect.

How can online dating ever provide that magical moment?
Let’s imagine: You approach me at the gym. Immediately my thoughts are that you must be desperate, or possibly that you think this is the worst I can look, all sweaty and red in the face, and things can only go up from there. Right? Wrong. Work out me is definitely only the runner up in the Worst Me contest. First place would be how I roll out of bed at 4 AM for work. My hair all disheveled, face au natural with the worst breathe of the day. Anyway, back to the gym; we have a conversation while you’re pretending to know how to use the elliptical machine while I am actually using it properly. You toss out the strategically placed ‘come-ons’, which in my opinion are lacking a little pizazz. I’m in a good mood and feeling nice though, so I overlook it and give you a chance.
Normally I don’t except invitations from strangers for dates, we live in a dangerous world, but since it would be dinner in a public place, why the hell not. My dating life has been a little lacking lately and who knows, this just could be something special. (I’m laughing at myself as I write this because I am such a pessimist when it comes to dating and relationships.)
The evening of the big date comes, dinner at one of my favorite Mexican restaurants, Los Amigos. Dinner actually goes over well; the conversation went a lot better than I expected even though we were polar opposites. While they say opposites attract, I think there is a point were two people can be too ‘different’ still, so far so good. When they served our dessert, (Mexican fried ice cream, yummy), I knew our lovely encounter was coming to a close but I could sense that he thought this was the beginning of a beautiful friendship. I knew this night could go one of two ways. First, with me saying goodnight and him disappointed that I was calling it a night so I could go home and put on my fuzzy pajamas and get all cozy in my nice big bed. Or, the second option, a trip to the bar, drinking and the infamous ‘walk of shame’. Seeing as I’d already had a fun filled night of partying the previous night and I was still trying to piece together all the antics and recover, I wasn’t sure I was up for another. As I contemplated my answer, deciding what to do and feeling like the previous night of fun left me feeling lackluster I thought to myself, ‘Well Bob show me what is behind door number 2! Again, this is not normally something I do, so to say that I was a little surprised by my answer is an understatement, but really… I was told prior that ‘I could do better’ well maybe this was my better. Let’s just throw caution to the wind and do this! So, still feeling the effects from my night prior, I just let go, that lovely thing called liquor made it easy enough.
So, without posting the nitty gritty, let’s just say that before I knew it the time was 7:00 AM and I had shown him every inch of my barracuda personality. (Side note: Barracuda by the Hearts is an awesome rock song from the 70’s!) I suppose one could say that the next morning brought the walk of shame, but the reality is that I left him in a state of pure confusion on everything that had happened and drove myself home. He is probably still chewing on what happened and trying to decide if he can even stand what he probably calls my sarcastic, overbearing personality, but that I call independence, educated and strong opinions. I doubt he’s the type of man that can handle that. (Annnnnnd, there’s the pessimist.)
I figure the chances of him calling or approaching me again are slim as most people are extremely intimidated by me and most men rarely have it in them to step up to the plate again. There have been a few so maybe this will be different, but I doubt it.
Do I regret it? Not at all. My new outlook on life is if you don’t go for it you will never know, so just do it!

 

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