Romancing the Social Media Newsfeed


“Periodically throughout the year my social media news feed makes me throw up in my mouth a little, yep, it happens.” -Casey King

I’m stepping out of the closet today. I’m letting my true feelings come out. I’m going to scream from the top of the highest building for everyone to hear. I love romance! I adore romance! I wish I could surround myself, rub it all over my body and drink romance 27/7. It is such a beautiful thing, I eat, sleep and breathe romance. It saddens me to know there are people in the world that haven’t experienced romance and may never in their life time. Why are we having a telethon for starving children, when we should be having a telethon to raise money for the millions of innocent people who live without romance in their lives.

Alright, enough of that rubbish talk, I am not a lover of romance. I am also not a fan of when my Facebook friends try to romance my news feed. How do they romance my news feed, here are some prime examples:

  1. I Love You Posts – These are the repetitive posts about how much the person loves their significant other. These posts can also be accompanied by selfies of the two of them.
  2. Relationship Status Changes – This is when people make it ‘Facebook Official’. Updating their relationship status to ‘In A Relationship’ with someone they just met 30 minutes ago.
  3. Engagement Posts – These posts are where they post awkward photos of them and their significant other accompanied by the 100 reasons why they love them so much. Engagement posts also include many of photos of the woman’s ring on her hand.
  4. Wedding Posts – These posts are where they post the hundreds of their photographers pictures and in addition all of their guest pictures. You see these posts accompanied with the ‘I love my spouse’ comments and the news feed is full of this for at least a month.
  5. Relationship Conversations – I love these, who wouldn’t? This is when people in a relationship utilize their social media posts to have conversations with their significant other. They use this outlet as if it was a way to text each other. They have conversations such as asking ‘what’s for dinner’ or to inform the other that their is a need to purchase toilet paper.

There is nothing hotter than social media news feed romance, my stove doesn’t even come close to heating up as hot as this type of romance does. Romance is just beautiful people, just fabulously beautiful!


One thought on “Romancing the Social Media Newsfeed

  1. I was groaning during the first part of your rant as I’m not a big fan of “look at me” romance. There is definitely a limit to how much I’m going to care about the romantic intricacies and drama of even my closest friends. I love the tongue in cheek. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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