Girl’s Guide To Shy Guy


I met a guy. I know, surprising right. He’s really nice but boy o’boy is he SHY! I’ve never dealt with someone who is shy so I reached out to the old trusty google to learn a bit about ‘shy guys’. My search brought me to wikiHow. I have read wikiHow articles before and they always make me chuckle. The things they tell you and their step by step instructions are hilarious at times. But I’m desperate to learn how to deal with shy guys so I took time to read the article so I might just have a chance to at least gain another close friend or maybe something more?

  1. Build trust to draw him out of his shell. – More like break his shell with a sledge hammer and pull him out with all your strength as he clutches on to his shattered shell of a home. I’ve known this gentleman for 2 years, trust has been built, he’s still in that shell – obviously loving it in there.
  2. Give him time, a week, to get all that silence out of him. – That is some solid advice because we all know we need to give people time to let that silence slowly work through and out their system. No, I think NOT! I needed real advice, not cartoon kid advice! But I will play along since I am here. 3 weeks, is that long enough? Each time we talk it is followed with a week or two if not longer of no contact, and then we talk, and it just repeats the same pattern.
  3. When talking to him, talk about him. – Now this will be an interesting conversation, nothing about me and my life or the weather, just talk about him. I don’t think so.
  4. Make the first move, ask him to do something. – Been there, done that. He is always busy. We see each other but it’s not because him or I asked each other to do something. The article continued on to say that some guys are scared to make the first move. This guy is FROZEN!


Finally the article states to keep asking because he may need time to cope. Are you kidding me?!?! Cope? Cope with what, someone asking him to do something? Someone initiating a conversation with him? It isn’t like I told him I only had 6 months to live! Having a conversation with someone or doing something with them are not situations I believe someone needs time to cope with.

I’m in the same place I was before reading this advice article. Lost in the weeds trying to find my way through this weird friendship with a shy guy.


Have you ever had to deal with a shy guy? Did you give up or did you manage to yank them out of their comfy shell?



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14 thoughts on “Girl’s Guide To Shy Guy

  1. If you’ve known this guy for 2 years, and he’s always been that way, I don’t really think he’s suddenly going to change. You really can’t make an introvert become an extrovert just because you want it. My personal opinion is maybe give it just a wee bit more time, but then move on. it doesn’t really sound like you two are clicking. Why put yourself through that?


  2. Shy guy here.

    Is the guy aware of your interest? Sounds like a silly question after all this time, but sometimes we gentlemen need those neon traffic cones to get the hint. Does he have social anxieties? Sometimes we don’t want to risk ruining things.

    Have you tried affirming him (as we should all be doing anyway)? Few things will bring a man forth better than affirmation.

    In the end, you’re not expected to put your life on hold for him. At some point, a man must take the initiative. Try the affirmation thing (tell him things you appreciate about him) and let your interest be known.

    Best of luck!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Having been “the shy guy” all my life, having the other person make the first move is very important. While I am very confident in myself many times I simply prefer the other person to initiate and then I am fine from there.


  4. It’s hard to hold a good conversation with someone very shy – at least, at first. But they’ll generally relax once they get to know you, so I think some of the advice about drawing them out may work. Many shy people usually want to be sociable but find it difficult to make the first move. Wish you luck with that one! A fun read, Casey.


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