Girl’s Guide To Shy Guy

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I met a guy. I know, surprising right. He’s really nice but boy o’boy is he SHY! I’ve never dealt with someone who is shy so I reached out to the old trusty google to learn a bit about ‘shy guys’. My search brought me to wikiHow. I have read wikiHow articles before and they always make me chuckle. The things they tell you and their step by step instructions are hilarious at times. But I’m desperate to learn how to deal with shy guys so I took time to read the article so I might just have a chance to at least gain another close friend or maybe something more?

  1. Build trust to draw him out of his shell. – More like break his shell with a sledge hammer and pull him out with all your strength as he clutches on to his shattered shell of a home. I’ve known this gentleman for 2 years, trust has been built, he’s still in that shell – obviously loving it in there.
  2. Give him time, a week, to get all that silence out of him. – That is some solid advice because we all know we need to give people time to let that silence slowly work through and out their system. No, I think NOT! I needed real advice, not cartoon kid advice! But I will play along since I am here. 3 weeks, is that long enough? Each time we talk it is followed with a week or two if not longer of no contact, and then we talk, and it just repeats the same pattern.
  3. When talking to him, talk about him. – Now this will be an interesting conversation, nothing about me and my life or the weather, just talk about him. I don’t think so.
  4. Make the first move, ask him to do something. – Been there, done that. He is always busy. We see each other but it’s not because him or I asked each other to do something. The article continued on to say that some guys are scared to make the first move. This guy is FROZEN!

 

Finally the article states to keep asking because he may need time to cope. Are you kidding me?!?! Cope? Cope with what, someone asking him to do something? Someone initiating a conversation with him? It isn’t like I told him I only had 6 months to live! Having a conversation with someone or doing something with them are not situations I believe someone needs time to cope with.

I’m in the same place I was before reading this advice article. Lost in the weeds trying to find my way through this weird friendship with a shy guy.

 

Have you ever had to deal with a shy guy? Did you give up or did you manage to yank them out of their comfy shell?

 

 

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Single, Anti-Relationship, Are they just Man-Haters?

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Man-haters are a whole different breed from people such as myself who just enjoy living the single life and carry an anti-relationship point of view. When you are with or near a man-hater the temperature drops about 10 degrees and the tension in the room can become suffocating.

Argumentative –

Man-hater: They cannot let men be right, even if it is insignificant. If a man said it, they will disagree every time.

Anti-relationship: Disagreements are not constant with the woman who are living single. They respect men and their opinions.

Negativity –

Man-hater: They can drag you down a road engulfed with misery. Their bitterness towards men and the constant comments against them are overwhelming.

Anti-relationship: Negativity is not a normal occurrence with this group. And when they have a moment of negativity towards a man, it is administered in a normal dose size.

Selfishness –

Man-hater: When it comes to men they are a selfish extremist. If they given the chance they will swoop in with full intentions of taking a man for all he is worth and making them as miserable as possible.

Anti-relationship: Everyone is selfish at one point or another. They have no evil or malicious intentions when they become selfish.

Friends and Family –

Man-hater: They don’t have male friends and if they do it’s very few. When it comes to family you may find they don’t have a close relationship with their father nor the other men in their families. They don’t discriminate when it comes to their man-hating views.

Anti-relationship: For the most part they have good relationships with their father and other men in their families. They have many friends in their circle who are men.

People who are living the single life or are also anti-relationship have no judgement of men. It is more about the empowerment they receive from doing things independently, knowing they need no one to make their life extraordinary. People living single seek respect not attention like the man-hater.

Loss

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Image From: Pixabay

Once a week I go to your page, it’s totally random, my fingers just take me there with no instruction from me. Sometimes I get there and don’t even know how I got there, I am just there. I scroll through your page, ask myself ‘why?’ And have the same over whelming heartache and sadness wash over me, just as it did the previous week and the week before that and the week before that. And when I click off your page, the sadness that moment generated dissipates, and I always smile for some reason. Maybe it’s because I feel as though I got to see you again.

How to get people to care

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The escape plan

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Casey King, Fingerlike

When you’re out for a nice walk with your dog, minding your own business and you see a guy approaching you. You immediately assess the situation for the level of ‘stranger danger’ (breaking out those skills from elementary school.) and you realize it’s at the highest level of danger. You can tell by how the guy is walking that he’s worked up enough courage to hit on you. So you start going through your available escape routes.

1. Turn and start running with your dog in the other direction. This plan is a good one if you don’t mind getting sweaty but you came to the park in your exercise outfit that is way too cute to get all sweaty. You only chose to wear it to blend in with everyone else and make them believe your one of them, ‘the physical fit conscious type’.

2. Act like you are having a real phone conversation. This is a solid plan, no one is going to interrupt someone who is on the phone (well except for children). But the flaw is your 3 miles from your car and that’s a long time to hold down a fake conversation. The other flaw is he will follow you until you put down the phone so your only delaying the interaction.

3. Let them have their moment. This can be a really good option if you’re a sarcastic person. These are good moments to work on honing your skills at executing sarcastic comments at just the right time.

The guy finally reached his destination, you. He immediately starts talking to you about your dog and he even interacts with the dog to prove he is ‘a nice guy’. But unbeknownst to him your dog loves anything that gives him attention so that proves nothing. So the conversation continues and you have thrown in a few sarcastic comments, perfectly executed of course but he’s still talking to you. This is the point were you realize he actually thought your sarcastic comments were funny and clever. This is disappointing because you now need to go over some knew escape plans.

1. Keep your answers short and once you see your car in the distance, make an abrupt exit by saying ‘Well it was nice talking to you’ then making a quick jog to your car. Of course making sure not to exert to much energy so you stay sweat free.

2. Tell the guy your phone is ringing and you have to take the call. Of course, he will look at you strangely because he can’t hear your phone ringing. Assure him by telling him you know he cannot hear it, but it is ringing and it’s probably an important call from your Dad about how when you were in 3rd grade he let your rabbit run out of the house and you really didn’t have a rabbit with magical disappearing abilities.

3. Now this one can be taken as rude so you have to use this one in the most extreme situations. Look at the guy and ask him if other people he talks to visualize placing ducktape over his mouth so early on in the conversation or is it just you.

If you went with escape plan 1 and he followed you, you then executed plan 2 and he doesn’t appear to be scared you need to be placed in a straight jacket and hauled away, and he is still standing there after you say plan 3….

the guy deserves your phone number and chances are high he will become your new best friend.

Commitment

Quote about commitment

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“Why is she so committed, people would ask me and my response was always the same. Because there was a time in her life when she needed someone and there was no one and that must have sucked pretty bad.” – Casey King, Fingerlike

I see you

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