Girl’s Guide To Shy Guy


I met a guy. I know, surprising right. He’s really nice but boy o’boy is he SHY! I’ve never dealt with someone who is shy so I reached out to the old trusty google to learn a bit about ‘shy guys’. My search brought me to wikiHow. I have read wikiHow articles before and they always make me chuckle. The things they tell you and their step by step instructions are hilarious at times. But I’m desperate to learn how to deal with shy guys so I took time to read the article so I might just have a chance to at least gain another close friend or maybe something more?

  1. Build trust to draw him out of his shell. – More like break his shell with a sledge hammer and pull him out with all your strength as he clutches on to his shattered shell of a home. I’ve known this gentleman for 2 years, trust has been built, he’s still in that shell – obviously loving it in there.
  2. Give him time, a week, to get all that silence out of him. – That is some solid advice because we all know we need to give people time to let that silence slowly work through and out their system. No, I think NOT! I needed real advice, not cartoon kid advice! But I will play along since I am here. 3 weeks, is that long enough? Each time we talk it is followed with a week or two if not longer of no contact, and then we talk, and it just repeats the same pattern.
  3. When talking to him, talk about him. – Now this will be an interesting conversation, nothing about me and my life or the weather, just talk about him. I don’t think so.
  4. Make the first move, ask him to do something. – Been there, done that. He is always busy. We see each other but it’s not because him or I asked each other to do something. The article continued on to say that some guys are scared to make the first move. This guy is FROZEN!


Finally the article states to keep asking because he may need time to cope. Are you kidding me?!?! Cope? Cope with what, someone asking him to do something? Someone initiating a conversation with him? It isn’t like I told him I only had 6 months to live! Having a conversation with someone or doing something with them are not situations I believe someone needs time to cope with.

I’m in the same place I was before reading this advice article. Lost in the weeds trying to find my way through this weird friendship with a shy guy.


Have you ever had to deal with a shy guy? Did you give up or did you manage to yank them out of their comfy shell?



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The Journey To Womanhood


As a young girl I was fed an idea. The idea of what my life should be, Education, Marriage, and Children. These concepts implanted and etched into my brain. As I grew up, I clawed my way up any obstacle that got in my way to completing these tasks.

I did everything I could but what did this bring me?

Abusive boyfriend, child out of wedlock, penny-less and a large side of disapproval looks as though I had broken some sacred code of womanhood.

Slowly I learned that these qualities that people had drilled into me did not have to be the characteristics that defined me as a woman. During this time I would start to take control of my destiny and crush the stereo types that were thrown at me during my journey.

I accomplished many things on my journey and was unstoppable. The one thing I treasured the most from this experience was the freedom to do what I wanted to do, when I wanted to do it. I was able to just be me. I was able to set my own goals and reach them in my own time. Self discovery is a processes full of many warm memorable moments but at the same token it can be a dark road full of insecurities, desperation, depression, self hate and an overwhelming want to be nothing more than to be loved and accepted.

Now after more than a decade I reflect back on my journey and am proud of what I have accomplished and by the same token I can see how the situations in my earlier days led me to the independent person I am today and how it has caused me to miss many opportunities for companionship. I see clearly how I deflected many hands that once reached out holding love for me.