Girl’s Guide To Shy Guy

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I met a guy. I know, surprising right. He’s really nice but boy o’boy is he SHY! I’ve never dealt with someone who is shy so I reached out to the old trusty google to learn a bit about ‘shy guys’. My search brought me to wikiHow. I have read wikiHow articles before and they always make me chuckle. The things they tell you and their step by step instructions are hilarious at times. But I’m desperate to learn how to deal with shy guys so I took time to read the article so I might just have a chance to at least gain another close friend or maybe something more?

  1. Build trust to draw him out of his shell. – More like break his shell with a sledge hammer and pull him out with all your strength as he clutches on to his shattered shell of a home. I’ve known this gentleman for 2 years, trust has been built, he’s still in that shell – obviously loving it in there.
  2. Give him time, a week, to get all that silence out of him. – That is some solid advice because we all know we need to give people time to let that silence slowly work through and out their system. No, I think NOT! I needed real advice, not cartoon kid advice! But I will play along since I am here. 3 weeks, is that long enough? Each time we talk it is followed with a week or two if not longer of no contact, and then we talk, and it just repeats the same pattern.
  3. When talking to him, talk about him. – Now this will be an interesting conversation, nothing about me and my life or the weather, just talk about him. I don’t think so.
  4. Make the first move, ask him to do something. – Been there, done that. He is always busy. We see each other but it’s not because him or I asked each other to do something. The article continued on to say that some guys are scared to make the first move. This guy is FROZEN!

 

Finally the article states to keep asking because he may need time to cope. Are you kidding me?!?! Cope? Cope with what, someone asking him to do something? Someone initiating a conversation with him? It isn’t like I told him I only had 6 months to live! Having a conversation with someone or doing something with them are not situations I believe someone needs time to cope with.

I’m in the same place I was before reading this advice article. Lost in the weeds trying to find my way through this weird friendship with a shy guy.

 

Have you ever had to deal with a shy guy? Did you give up or did you manage to yank them out of their comfy shell?

 

 

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10 ways to ensure you will never have a relationship

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Relationships can look wonderful from the outside, once you enter into the realm of the relationship world you realize that the people turn into the incarnation of Satan.  That is why I put together this handy little instructional blog to help prevent you from allowing things to escalate past the safe zone.

 Things you will need:

A small pad of paper

Good writing utensil

An infatuation

Instructions:

  1. Insult – Use that pad of paper and your writing utensil to catalog anything about the person you could use as an insult.  You should have three categories for your insults; light hearted, moderate and downright nasty.  That way you are armed with an array of ammunition to spice up your encounters with your infatuation each time you see them.  As an added bonus, having an array of insults helps to prevent becoming predictable and who wants to be that!
  2. No Touching – Never EVER, under nearly any circumstances, touch in any way shape or form! This is very important, so pay attention!  It’s said that a person’s touch reveals a lot about their feelings, and if that is true then the neon sign popping out of your head when touching would scream “INFATUATION”, which would absolutely not be good long term.
  3. Avoidance – This is a tricky one, of course you want to see your infatuation and you even enjoy stewing in the pot while watching them coo-cooing over their new flavor of the week, but it’s more about finding a balance.  Never sit on the same couch, side of table, shit not even on the same side of the room as them.  If you do you may find your subconscious slowly and secretively scooting your butt in their direction.  Trust me, this happens so simply don’t do it!  Keep yourself busy, pay attention and interact with your infatuation only for a moment and then move on quickly to any other conversation with someone else.  NEVER make eye contact.  This will only draw you in and that is exactly what we’re trying to avoid!
  4. Giving – I like to think that most people have a giving nature, so I assume that you do too.  Wonderful, but never show this to your infatuation.  This is generally looked at as a ‘good quality’.  You cannot have good qualities as this will likely draw them in and may cause them to think you are a sweetheart, Heaven forbid!
  5. Interested – Listen without looking too interested, and NEVER give advice.  This could lead to them looking at you as a good sounding board, which may lead to them calling you for more advice. This would bring the two of you closer, and definitely would cause your feelings to show through.
  6. Sharing – Do not share what is going on in your life or your feelings.  Remember you are the insulter, not the sharer.  Keep your personal feelings to a minimum and make any personal topic as generic as possible.  Remember also, you are always having a good day!  People like to make others feel better, but if you’re always having a great time there is nothing to make better.
  7. Alone – Hello!  This should be easy!  Never should you be alone with this person!  If you find yourself left with them, find a reason to leave the room quickly.  Feel free to pop in now and then to admire your infatuation quickly, but then slip back out of the room hopefully without being seen watching them.  Being alone with someone would open the door to those personal things or ask you questions you shouldn’t answer.
  8. Sensitive – Show sensitivity at all times.  People say they like sensitive people but this is a load of bull.  They really like the leather wearing, whip wielding sadists.
  9. Alcohol – Don’t drink with your infatuation.  This can cause the leather wearing whip wielding sadist in you to show through and they may run away or stick to you like glue, neither of which is your goal.
  10. On a final but very important note! –  If your infatuation is ever single limit your time with that person to nearly nil.  Go out of your way to avoid them like the plague!  If they don’t have a significant other to keep their attention, they are more apt to try to speak with you and to get to know you better as a person. Yuck! Why would anyone want that!

Romancing the Social Media Newsfeed

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“Periodically throughout the year my social media news feed makes me throw up in my mouth a little, yep, it happens.” -Casey King

I’m stepping out of the closet today. I’m letting my true feelings come out. I’m going to scream from the top of the highest building for everyone to hear. I love romance! I adore romance! I wish I could surround myself, rub it all over my body and drink romance 27/7. It is such a beautiful thing, I eat, sleep and breathe romance. It saddens me to know there are people in the world that haven’t experienced romance and may never in their life time. Why are we having a telethon for starving children, when we should be having a telethon to raise money for the millions of innocent people who live without romance in their lives.

Alright, enough of that rubbish talk, I am not a lover of romance. I am also not a fan of when my Facebook friends try to romance my news feed. How do they romance my news feed, here are some prime examples:

  1. I Love You Posts – These are the repetitive posts about how much the person loves their significant other. These posts can also be accompanied by selfies of the two of them.
  2. Relationship Status Changes – This is when people make it ‘Facebook Official’. Updating their relationship status to ‘In A Relationship’ with someone they just met 30 minutes ago.
  3. Engagement Posts – These posts are where they post awkward photos of them and their significant other accompanied by the 100 reasons why they love them so much. Engagement posts also include many of photos of the woman’s ring on her hand.
  4. Wedding Posts – These posts are where they post the hundreds of their photographers pictures and in addition all of their guest pictures. You see these posts accompanied with the ‘I love my spouse’ comments and the news feed is full of this for at least a month.
  5. Relationship Conversations – I love these, who wouldn’t? This is when people in a relationship utilize their social media posts to have conversations with their significant other. They use this outlet as if it was a way to text each other. They have conversations such as asking ‘what’s for dinner’ or to inform the other that their is a need to purchase toilet paper.

There is nothing hotter than social media news feed romance, my stove doesn’t even come close to heating up as hot as this type of romance does. Romance is just beautiful people, just fabulously beautiful!

Because I Said So

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Over the last 15 years I have learned many things. I’ve found myself, and I’ve really lost myself. (You may say you can’t really lose yourself, but trust me that after a few bottles of wine you can misplace yourself in the blink of an eye.) I’ve loved people, and then lost those people too. (Not from the wine though.) I’ve met people, and I have missed opportunities to know people that one day I could miss.

I’ve been a mother, a friend, a boss, a daughter, a sister, a mechanic, a plumber, an electrician, a house keeper, a painter, a landscaper, a chauffeur and a cheerleader. Boy o’boy, the list goes on and on. Throughout these last 15 years I’ve been so many things and by doing all of those things I have had triumphs worthy of trophies, (I’m still waiting for the delivery of these trophies but rest assured I earned them, and they are big trophies not those small ones everyone gets for just participating these days.) I’ve made mistakes by doing what I thought at the time was surely the right thing, and on the same hand I’ve made mistakes by doing what I knew was the wrong thing. I’ve experienced happy moments, sad moments, and I’ve visited (at times frequently, like, multiple times in a day) the bottom of the darkest and deepest pits. I’ve thought, ‘Well, of course this is happening to me, I deserve it’.  I’ve thought, ‘Why me’.  On an occasion or two, or three, or okay many times, that it was very possible I was living in the twilight zone. I’ve dreamt of a richer life, of fame, of happiness, of revenge and of things better than the moment I was living in at the time. I’ve loved, I’ve hated, I’ve carried around resentment, I’ve forgiven and I’ve forgotten. (Mostly forgotten because I have a really bad memory, lucky for me and those people I dreamt of getting revenge from.)

What is my take away from the last 15 years? What could possibly be so important that little old me would feel the need to sit down and tell you? Yes, normal me, with a normal life, normal career and normal friends would have something important to say? Well here it is, so listen up because I’m only going to say this once. (Okay, I’m only going to type this once.)

YOU MAKE YOUR LIFE WHAT IT IS.

I know what you are thinking.  You have heard that about a million times, in a million inspirational videos that have taken up prime real-estate on your social news feeds, but hear me out. What I have to say is better than any of those videos. (They probably tell you that in their videos too, but it’s not true.)

You can dream of a better life, better friends, better career but you will never get it, because it will probably be something that only plays on your dream play list. Only when you take responsibility, and take hold of your own life will you move forward in life. You are the only one who controls you. If you’re waiting around spending your days wondering why, holding onto your past by replaying those dark moments in your life, you will never move forward. You will never achieve those dreams on your play list, and you will never be truly happy.

If you are waiting around for someone to fix your situation, someone who will swoop down like superman to save you from the life your living; or thinking, ‘If only someone would come and help you’, you’re wasting not only your time but your life. You are the only person with the power to change your situation, change your thought process, and move your life forward. Until you are able to recognize and truly see the moment you are living right now, you will never move forward. You will never carry anything but hatred for what your life has become and what you have become. You have to accept what your life is and who you are right now. You have to forgive the people and situations that have wronged you. You have to stop waiting and start moving forward. The sooner you find acceptance, the sooner you can reach your true potential and say hello to happiness again. Life will beat you down, make you cry, call you names.  Life is a bully, and if you sit around and don’t participate in what is needed to get you up and moving forward life will have you chained down and duck taped to that chair you occupy. (If this is what you choose, you better hope that chair you occupy is one of those comfy, cozy lazy-boy chairs because you will be there for an eternity and your butts sure going to start getting sore, if it isn’t already.)

Forgiving the life that has bullied you doesn’t make it right, or make life the winner. It makes you right and you the winner. By committing to your dreams and passions, by being fearless, you cannot fail.

YOU WILL SAVE YOURSELF

YOU WILL FIX YOURSELF

Being committed and fearless will be the most amazing thing you will ever experience. It is empowering to be independent and experience success, no matter what aspect it is. One day you too will be patiently awaiting those trophies to arrive.

Love is not what you find on greeting cards

I want to tell you an interesting story.

You try to follow the road that leads to that special place in someone’s heart. You spend time building a unique friendship and construct an unbreakable bond. If there was something you should have said, you can’t say it now. All the roads traveled have led you away… You don’t know yet but you will see soon. Who are you to argue with fate? Life is unforgiving when you let things slip away. All you have to carry with you is restless dreams and words never said.

There is a life that you don’t know about. You have a lot to learn. You needed someone to pick you up but you push them away. When the bars are closed you will hear her voice while you are sick and alone.

God only knows where you will land, keep your eyes on the road and remember love is not what you find on greeting cards.

How long should a friendship last?

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Valentine’s Day Review

 

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Joanna Prisco wrote an article called ‘Valentine’s Day Survival Guide for Singles’ on abcnews.go.com.  As a single woman on Valentine’s Day, so I was drawn to this article.  I was immediately on the defensive within the first two sentences.

“Singles may find themselves simultaneously dreading its arrival”… If you are single and feel this way about Valentine’s Day, my question to you is, why?  I personally believe no person should dread Valentine’s Day.  Even if you are single, go out and celebrate yourself or with a dear friendship.  What are you gaining by dreading the day?  Nothing!

The article continues with a few quotes from Barbie Adler, founder of a matchmaking firm in Chicago, “Use the day as a wake-up call to reflect on your personal life.”  Hello!  Oh right, the single people in the world, poor them, their single and therefore their lives are ‘less than’.  Um, I don’t think so!  What should my wake-up call be?  I see nothing wrong with my single ‘personal life’.  She is also quoted as saying, “There’s so much societal pressure put on this Hallmark holiday”.  Again, I don’t feel any pressure from Valentine’s Day.  Do you feel pressure as a single person because you’re not attached to someone on this day?

At the end of the article Barbie Adler is quoted saying, “What we really want is love and companionship and a lasting relationship.”  I’m glad she has made it very clear what every single person wants.  I can now move on with my life with my new found purpose.  Not!

Now it may seem that I am completely bashing Ms. Joanna Prisco’s article, though I’m not trying to.  Her article was very well written.  It’s just, isn’t a match maker, of course, going to push you into believing a relationship is needed in your life.  That it must be what every single person yearns for.  Come on guys, that is what she gets paid to make people believe.  As a single woman I can say without hesitation that I just don’t believe that it’s what all people in my situation want.  You can have wonderful, loving, fulfilling relationships without being attached to one person.  We as people have enough love in our hearts to feel compassion for many.

 

Valentine’s Day Survival Guide for Singles Website Link: http://abcnews.go.com/Lifestyle/valentines-day-survival-guide-singles/story?id=22411085